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March 26th, 2005

05:59 am: SayCoons slept over last night. we went to the talent show, it actually wasnt that bad. last year sucked. ive been wicked sick these past couple days and i dont know why.
kevins leaving for the weekend:( stupid easter. altho thank god my birthdays not on easter this year! id kill myself if he was gone.
8 days until im 17! its such a weird feeling. i hate getting older..but i hate being young.
i wish i was famous

March 23rd, 2005

08:24 pm: good life
lately everything has been alright. im a little more confident in myself and i think thats better for me and kevin. ive always hated how im not skinny and as beautiful as some girls but ive learned to deal with it. the highlight of my week was the immaturity of some girls but hey, id rather stay out of it because if youre not going to be mature, why bother. we're in HIGH SCHOOL, not middle school. running down the halls screaming in ditzy voices isnt going to get you laughs, your just making a fool out of yourself. but whatever you know. girls will be girls.
ANDY ORR! I LOVE YOU! there is your shout out!
i think erin and matt are coming to visit me.

March 21st, 2005

08:06 pm: soo great
im loving life right now...
kevin is amazing
SayCoons is just as amazing. and anyone who has a problem with us being friends can shut it because...we dont want to hear it.
kelsey stays in the corner. haha i love u
my day got 10x better talking with bayley at ceramics..minus the 454 hour long firedrill..but she made me feel good. and we played lax after school.
last saturday was soo much fun. i think i might do it again. i felt bad telling people that they cant come but i live on a main road and if i have 3954 cars in my drive way, cops will be suspicious PLUS i rent out an apartment thing in the corner of my house. so it wouldnt work...sorry guys.
thats all..byee:)

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic

March 20th, 2005

07:48 am: im sorry

March 16th, 2005

05:10 pm: Im coaching the middle schoolers this year for lacrosse! there goes 75% of my social life but thats ok, at least its to lacrosse.
i cheated off of jimmy neutron today. that kid is amazing. i probably wouldnt survive the class without him
annnddd i really have nothing else to say. Amanda Tyson is amazing too.
and Lizzie Farley
my birthday is coming up...19 days.. i think..

March 15th, 2005

01:08 pm: sitting at feens
we got out at 10. then IHOP with ang ambre feen kels bayley sam and katrina. they told the lady it was my birthday then they asked for ID or something. oh well. cate diedra (sp?) and elizabeth were there too. then we went to the mall and saw them there. i like them. i got phatfarms.
i dont know what im doing for the rest of the day. maybe (hopefully) see kevin..but u never know.
oh yes, i found out really bad news today. it kinda ruined my day until we went to ihop, then it was better. my mom wants me to make a Welcome Home sign for eric for when he comes to my house tonight. i told her no. they havent even been together very long and he might move in. last time my mom new this other guy for 6 months before she married him, and they didnt even live together! i havent lived with a guy since i was in 5-6th grade, when my dad moved. why would i want to live with some random guy? sure, hes nice, hes rich, and he treats my mom well. but i really dont care. i cant do things i usually do if he lives there, like walk around in my towel..how awkward would that be?! kevin probably wouldnt be able to sleep over anymore either because my mom "doesnt want him to think we sleep together" or something. its all retarded.

"Seems like everything's the same around me
When I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreaming so I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I wanna be"

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: shes my kind of rain-tim magraw

March 14th, 2005

03:47 pm: amazing
This is just great. I hate the way I'm feeling lately. I'm expecting too much of people and its doing NOTHING but kicking me in the ass. I do it most of the time to see if things would change, but I forget I dont live in a movie so things arent always going to have a perfect ending. Thats my problem. Its not that I expect a person to do certain things, its more of how i need to be treated. My heart may be healed but it can break just as fast, and probably easier now.
oh mannn lifes a bitch

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

March 9th, 2005

11:03 am: another survey lol IM TURNING INTO KELSEY
i stole this from feen, who stole this from the biggest computer nerd:)


001. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? MOVED ON FUCKERS

002. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i didnt make one actually

003. Did anyone close to you give birth? hope not

004. Did anyone close to you die? yes

005. What countries did you visit? bahamas

006. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? not losing someone

007. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory? lol..girls night..old blue point rd

008. What was your biggest achievement of the year? not killing myself yet

009. What was your biggest failure? many, many things

010. Did you suffer illness or injury? who knows

011. What was the best thing you bought? HILARY DUFF

012. Whose behavior merited celebration? wtf does merited mean

013. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? kevins probably

014. Where did most of your money go? sleeping around..OHH you mean where did it go? To the drs while i get teated for STD's

015. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Kevin Ostrander

016. What song/album will always remind you of 2004? HILARY DUFF

017. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? depends
iii. richer or poorer? idk

018. What do you wish you'd done more of? physcialy things, helping myself to move on..which i did

019. What do you wish you'd done less of? summer times

020. How will you be spending Christmas? in the bahamas

021. Did you fall in love in 2004? i was in love in '03..it was just hiding from me..but now its out and open, kinda

022. How many one night stands in this last year? wheres feen..?

023. What was your favorite TV program? disney channel

024. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I dont hate anyone

025. What was the best book you read? The 5 People You Meet in Heaven, thats the only book i read

026. What was your greatest musical discovery? singing in the shower

027. What did you want and get? Kevin

028. What did you want and not get? SEX BABBBY lol jk

029. What was your favorite film of this year? i dont remember that far back ASSHOLES

030. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 16 and umm i did nothing i think

031. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? kevin

032. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? same as it always is? I DONT CARE

033. What kept you sane? erin fucking kathleen feeney

034. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Hilary Duff

035. What political issue stirred you the most? id probably answer that IF I WATCHED THE NEWS

036. Who did you miss? my dad and meme

037. Who was the best new person you met? ANGI from georgia...and kelsey, but we've been friends since we were lil shits

038. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004. HAVE SEX, SMOKE WEED AND DRINK ON WEEKENDS! respoceably of course.

039. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Ive got scars on my heart and they wont go away. Im looking for someone to take them from me. Everybody knows i just want someone to hold.

10:43 am: Yeahh
I left school bc we had a 1 hour delay and the MEA's were postponed until tomorrow. So I said fuck it, and left. Kevin wasnt here tho bc he broke his wrist or something. who knows. I havent written in this thing for so long.
OMG two girls stabbed eachother yesterday behind the public library. I guess they werent happy with their lives. And the sad thing is, the 20 year old..Barbara (idk her last name) is one of the art room girls. She has a friend named Krystal and she liked Nate (Feens boyfriends Best Friend) and one day we wanted to see who they were..so i thought i knew who it was so we made a joke saying TO THE ARM ROOM. I feel horrible, not that they know we did that but it makes me feel horrible. I did stick up for her once tho, she was in the hall way walking by herself and some "popular" assholes in the senior '03 class said something to her. I was walking by myself so i was scared but i felt bad for her bc i thought she was gonna cry and so i told the guys to shut up. Maybe thats why i had no upperclassmen friends.
im always saying to myself or to other people..u could be the reason why someone might hurt themselves. and now i know what it feels like. thats horrible. I still dont know who the 15-year old is.
Going to lay down..byee

Current Mood: confusedconfused
10:39 am: bored

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)

Created by okwhtsplanb and taken 27212 times on bzoink!

--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:brownish
Eye Color:doesnt matter i suppose
(Their)Music Genre Preference:anything but depressing shit
Height(estimate):taller than me
Age:no more than a year or two older
Personality Type:oh jesus...
--This or That--
Older or Younger:who cares
Romantic or Horndog:ROMANTIC
Smart or Stupid:hahahha
Fat or Skinny:medium
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:muscular
Punk or Preppy:medium
The Big Picture or the Little Things:little things
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:candy
Mixtape or Burned CD:cd
Love or Lust:love
Emotional or Just Not:medium
Sincere or Jokester:medium
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:ugly and sweet
Sexy or Just "cute":cute
Arse or Abs:arms
Hair or Hands:soft hands
Dimples or Eyes:dimples
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:biceps
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:CLEAN
Rugged or Prim and Proper:sure?
Countryboy or Cityboymmm country boyy
Date alone or With Friendseither or
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:medium..BUT GOOD TO THEIR MOMS
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:no
Loved a guy because he stalked you:no..?
Loved a guy because he hated you:no
Asked your friend's crush out:probably
Lead a guy on for kicks:hahahaha i mean..no
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott::( yeah
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:back in middle school probably
Lied about not having a boyfriend:lol bad question
Lied about having one:no
Cheated:back in the day
Been Cheated on:maybe?
Had a crush on a gay guy:I THINK SO!!
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Skater Shoes?:no
Pimp Shoes?:no
Band Shirts?:sure
Vintage shirts?:no thanks
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:who?
Fox/Thor?:DIRTBIKE RACING! i know that one
Jeans or Shorts?:jeans
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:no, if theyre annoying i cant stand being around them
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:ive done that before, turned out well.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:yeahhh..
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?what?
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:lol..i dont screw around..hahaha
Do looks matter?:not all the time
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:more scared of losing someone i care about
Does size matter?:no...(feen hahahah)
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:no
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:i do hang out with kelsey a lot..LOL JUST KIDDDINGGG! no im not
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):what am i ashamed about again?
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:not from feen..others yes
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:why lie about masterbating? ITS NATURAL
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:kevin would say it anyways, it kinda grows on u
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:thats the problem, he doesnt love me
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?YES......................
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?ive only said it once, and yes i did. doesnt mean i dont feel it now
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:i dream about kevin cheating on me, does that count lol
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:i dont get it..
Does this survey suck nuts?why are those questions on here everytime

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